Pillow Talk
by Aservis Roturier
Summary: Just eavesdropping on a late-night conversation. M to be safe, for all sorts of implied things. SebaXCiel Sebastian, Ciel.
1. Chapter 1

Kuroshitsuji characters belong to Yana Toboso

**Pillow Talk**

"God, you are _so_ hot,"

"Why thank you, my lord. You're a bit of a sizzler yourself."

"Shut up, stupid demon, I meant hot _literally_. Either the blanket or this nightshirt has got to go."

"Well, whatever gets you naked is quite all right in my book. Here: let me..." The butler helped the boy slip the shirt up over his head.

"WATCH!"

"Oh, my. Did I catch your hair?"

"My nose—on a button! ...ow,now it's bleeding, pillock..."

The butler put a finger to his lips, trying to hold down the grin threatening to erupt across his face.

"Stop sniggering!"

"certainly, my lord."

"Why _are _you so hot anyway?"

"Hm... hell of a bed mate perhaps?"

"Don't make me kick you out on the floor, Sebastian."

"Go on, then."

"What."

"Go on, if you think you're hard enough. You've never been in a pillow fight until you've been in one with me."

The boy pulled back. "Hm. I believe I should reconsider. You _do_ have a remarkable talent for putting feathers in the air."

"_And_ turning them into deadly projectiles. You remembered that, did you?"

An inelegant snort. "How could I forget? Those boots are particularly burnt into my memory. "

"Well, it's hardly fair you get _all_ the fancy footwear in this partnership, is it?" The butler lounged on his back, head cradled in his arms, crossing one leg over the other he amused himself by admiring his black horn toenails.

"If those boots were the bit you let me see, I can't begin to imagine the rest,"

"And that's as it should be. You've already been scared out of several years' growth as it is, you cannot affor—"

"I am NOT short."

"The word never entered my head let alone passed my lips. I merely—"

"Five foot five point nine, nine, nine is _average_."

"I'm certain it is, my lord, " he smiled.

"Don't you patronise me, you..."

"...amongst Andaman Islanders and Bushmen, perhaps. ..anyway, you're five foot eight in your high heels. Doesn't that count for—"

_"They are not 'high heels'!"_

"Of course they aren't... and I'm an altar boy, my lord."

"Hmph. I'll bet you _were_ an altar boy. You look the type."

"However did you guess young master?" The butler rolled his eyes to the heavens and struck a sanctimonious pose, hands folded on his breast as if in prayer.

"The filthiest minds I've ever encountered have always belonged to altar boys."

"You're not confusing altar boys with catamites are you?"

"What's the difference?" the boy grinned.

"Point taken. But you were an altar boy once as well."

"Was not. I'm not even Catholic, so there."

"All right then: you were a boy _on_ an altar once. Nearly the same thing."

"It is nothing of the kind—get away from there! What do you think you're doing, pervert!"

"Merely testing out a certain theory of mine...quit squirm—"

"Keep your sweaty hands to yoursel—"

"There, you see? _You_ have the requisite filthy mind as well: you may as well be an altar boy yourself."

"That's it. I'm about to perform a miracle and disappear."

"Come here my catamite, I wish to dote upon you..."

"Bless me Father Michaelis, I'm about to sin!"

"Let me sacrifice you my child. There's a certain little demon I want to _raise..."_

"Aagh! Let me go, you horrible, horrible hell spawn! Quick! Someone save me!"

"Sorry, my lord, but you know better than anyone that _some_ things, once lost, can never be got back, and in my arms _**you **_are most definitely_ lost_."

" . . .! "

" . . . "

" Mmm. . ."

" . . . "

"Sebastian,"

"Yes, little one?"

"This is an order:"

"My lord?"

"If anyone ever looks like rescuing me out of your arms . . . kill 'em. On the spot. Don't hesitate."

"Mmm, yes, my lord."


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of rustling sheets and pillows being re-plumped sounds out in the dark bedroom.

"So demons don't love, they cannot love?"

"So I have always been assured, little one."

"Hm."

"Yes, hm..."

"So then," a pause taken up with the sounds of a slight body turning over, disentangling itself from the sheets."What do you understand love to be?"

"I don't."

"No?"

"No, so long as I've existed, and by the way I have been around quite a long time, I have always been assured it was a thing that belonged to other creatures and other realms, a thing I should learn to ape because you lot valued it above nearly anything else, but that I could never hope to experience. That it wasn't even desirable, given the life I would lead as a demon. No soft, yielding, tender thing could survive the realms I come from. So no, I don't pretend to know what it is, or know anything about it."

"But then..."

"Yes?"

"Well, how can you be certain you have not experienced it?"

"Dunno, do I?"

"... I suppose not."

Silence settled.

"What, little one. Pitying me now?"

"No, well, maybe. I mean I'm no expert either, but ...I do seem to remember it being a very sweet thing, having a father and mother who loved me. I don't like the thought you've never had anything like that in your life."

"..."

"..."

"I was about six earthly months in age the first time my mother tried to kill me."

"WHAT?"

"She grabbed me by the ankle and dropped me out a window and down a stony cliff."

"Jesus!"

"Mnnno, don't recall him being involved."

"How is it you're still alive?!"

"Demons grow up fast. I bounced a few times, then just got up and ran away."

"Y-you didn't go back?"

"I could be mistaken of course but I got a strong impression I was no longer welcome, so ... no."

"I don't suppose any of your contracts were with happy people either, happy families..."

A rather wicked sounding chuckle rumbled through the darkness.

"No, I don't imagine you found yourself in the midst of a truly happy family very often, in spite of all the years you have lived."

"You have me there, my Lord."

"Not 'my lord' Sebastian, not when we are like this."

"My apologies. Deeply ingrained habit."

Another round of rustling sheets and the groan of a headboard as it begins to support a heavy back.

"So tell me about happy families. Even when there are families where I come from there is certainly nothing jolly or warm about them ."

A long sigh.

"It is a very secure, peaceful atmosphere. There's a ... sense of trust, a surety that those around you have your best interests first and foremost in their hearts."

"Hm. ..no, not a quality one sees much in the infernal regions."

"..."

"..."

"How many stories?"

"It was a tower."

"O. My.—"

"No, he wasn't there either."

"Were you hurt?!"

"Broke a horn."

"A ho—"

"Just Kidding."

"Sebastian!"

"You don't get those until you're a lot older."

"I'm going to sleep."

That's another reason demons don't sleep."

"What."

"Where do you put the horns?"

"Shut up, you."

"And what a cloven hoof can do to a mattress is close to a mortal sin."

"Shut up!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Never mind those pointy tails..."

FWAP!


	3. Chapter 3

III

"I have such a headache ...plump my pillows I want to sit up."

"Well, my lord, she's gone now, so you ought to be able to relax."

"Hand me that mirror. She swung me around and bashed my head right into the staircase banister!"

"Dear, dear. Let me see... hm... Impressive. Would you like me to chip you some ice for an ice cap to put on that?"

"Yes...yes that's a very good idea."

.

.

.

"Here you are my lord."

"Owowowow... what in blazes is _wrong_ with that girl? Nobody else I know acts like that. Every Damned Time!"

"That's right, she nearly flung you out a window last visit."

"Shut up. You're no better, she had _you _in frilly knickers."

"Only for a minute."

"If I hadn't distracted everybody by damn near falling out a window you'd still be in them."

"Did you do that for me, my lord."

"You liked them too well. I had to do something."

"Well. They did have some exquisite antique Mechlin lace on them..."

"What ails her Sebastian!? She comes in here like some mad thing and tosses everyone around-even you!"

"She is merely overcompensating for your excessively saturnine disposition, my Lord."

"My..._what's this now_?"

"She's being little Miss Sunshine because you're a Mr. Grumpy-Pants."

"Little Miss...what?"

"Never mind, it hasn't happened yet. Important point is you're a Grumpy-pants and she's trying to cheer you up."

"O shut up. What do you know about it."

"..."

"..."

"...I know a Mr. Grumpy-Pants when I see one."

"!"

"..."

"..."

"Sour-face, Grumpy-pants, sour-face, grumpy-pants!"

"Damned demon—"

"sourfacegrumpypants!"

" Mmnph! show _you_!"

A shriek went up that literally stopped traffic, and cleared the rust off all the gutters and church steeples in town. A sort of whinnying noise followed that seemed as if all the horses in England were sounding off as one and Ciel Phantomhive let go of his butler, sat back on his heels and goggled.

"Oh. My. God. You're ... you're ticklish!"

"I. _Am_. N_ot!_"

"Don't be _absurd_, you just squealed."

"Hmph."

"And then giggled like a _girl!_"

"Tell anyone and so _help_ me I'll have you for supper. EARLY. As a kebabSTOP LAUGHING AT ME!."


	4. Chapter 4

"So Sebastian..."

"Yes, little one?"

"Mm...you uh...claim you know very little of love..."

"Oh dear..."

"What!"

"Humans. You lot are always obsessing over sex and love! I find it quite tiresome."

"O-oh, um... Sorry."

"..."

"..."

"Oh for...go on then."

"I was only going to ask your observations on the subject. You know, from an impartial outside observer. That is, you must've studied it as something important to at least learn to emulate, isn't that so, even though you say you've never been in love yourself?"

I am _quite certain_ I've never been in love—"

"so far as you know,"

"So far as I know, yes— but I learned from observance that men and women who love feel similarly toward one another and seek out excuses to prove it to each other. They do things for one another with a view to making this quality of love evident and making it grow stronger."

"Hm...interesting."

"I do not really find it so."

"Don't you like it when others act lovingly toward you?"

"I find it...peculiar. And not a little unsettling. Forgive me, my lord, but remember you have put me under restraint as far as telling you the truth is concerned."

"That's alright. I wasn't upset."

"I am relieved."

"So when Agni, who clearly regards you as a friend, attempts to help you in the kitchen, or tries to do things nice for you, it ... unsettles you?"

"Most emphatically _yes_, my lord. I really do not know how to respond to such overtures and that is disconcerting to me, yes."

"Well generally one is expected to reciprocate in kind, if possible."

"But other than doing precisely the same thing back, I do not know what 'in kind' entails, you see."

"Ah."

"Yes."

"Well, that is a bit of a conundrum."

"I agree."

"..."

"..."

"And what of me?"

"What of...my lord?"

"Yes."

"I'm afraid I do not really understand the question."

"Does it unsettle you when I do 'loving' things for you?"

"...refresh my memory my lord: what 'loving things' have you done toward me?"

"..."

"..."

"*ahem,* let me reword that: what of when you do things for me?"

"Ah. Well that is a much easier question. I find no problem whatever doing things for my young lord. It is my pleasure to make sweets for him, to care for him and generally find ways to please him."

"Sebastian."

"Have I... said something wrong, my lord?"

"Not at all. Something quite intriguing though."

"Oh yes?"

"Though I wonder whether I ought tell you... tell me Sebastian: out of all the things you do for me, how many of them are strictly things you are compelled to, due to our contract?"

"..."

"..."

"When my lord directly bids me to do certain things, and when I seek out and destroy my master's enemies to achieve his vengeance, those are strictly actions compelled by our contract."

"I see. And all the other things? Keeping the servants in line, mastering the art of being a butler, your wonderful desserts, your..."

"Those are things I do purely for the sheer pleasure of serving my young master and the challenge of putting a smile on his face."

"What do you mean 'challenge' ?"

"A feat I have yet to accomplish, but I live in hope, young Master!"

"You live in...*kof koff* to return to the original matter, when you did similar such things for your former masters, did—"

"...actually my lord I did no such similar actions for any of my former masters. None of my former masters were very kind or gracious to me so I was hardly of a mind to woo them with any such extraordinary favours."

"N—no?"

"No, young Master. You are quite unique in that respect, as you are in so many others as well. "

"How so?"

"Well, You have always known what I was, and yet you have never once treated me as though I deserved your scorn or were beneath you. You always have and still do show me the same respect you would if I were the same kind as—no, you actually treat me _far better_ than you generally your own kind.

" My previous masters have all treated me brutally, beating and torturing me if I failed to please, deliberately putting me in harm's way for their own entertainment, forcing me into pointless battles as one might utilise a fighting cock or dog meant for ratting and bull-baiting. They all, to a man, treated me as though I were an animal, in some cases, not even permitting me a place within their homes, or refusing to permit me to even enter their home as if I were no more to be trusted indoors than some barnyard animal. You, my lord, have never done anything so dishonourable, therefore it has been my pleasure to go far beyond what is required in serving you."

"Sebastian, that's ...that's dreadful. I had no idea."

"At first I had the idea it was because you were weak, a child, and that this was your way of trying to sweeten me so I would not harm you or take you before our agreed-upon time," these words sent a shiver down the boy's spine because the demon was not _entirely_ wrong in his initial theories. "However I learned soon enough it was a conscious stance on your part, one born of strength, not weakness and I came to genuinely respect you for it. Gradually I felt inclined to give you more than respect. It now pleases me very much to work towards pleasing my young Master in every way possible."

"Sebastian, you may be surprised to learn that one definition of love is 'the desire to serve one who is precious to you, without hope of reciprocation."

"Is it indeed? How very curious."

"Perhaps you know more of this quality than you realised. It may well be that you know more of it than I do."

"What a startling conclusion, young Master."

"In fact I believe you have been teaching me about love through your good example for quite some time now."

"I am pleased to hear it my lord. But there is one down side."

"How could there possibly be a down side to that?"

"Word must not circulate that the demon Sebastian Michaelis loves, for fear it reach Tartarus. My reputation would be severely damaged and my very life threatened were it to get back to those who are my overlords in the Realms below."

"Well puh! Safe to say they won't be hearing it from me," the boy said, then proceeded to enact a prissy little mime of locking his lips and throwing away the key. It made the demon laugh.

"I thank you, my Lor—"

"On one condition, that is..."

"Cond—?"

The boy used the demon's tie (which he still wore though the rest of his kit was scattered across the floor from the doorway to the bed) to pull him down to eye-level as he whispered: "You will teach me everything you have learned about love. Only then will my lips be sealed-preferably against yours- and your secret safe."

"What a fearful toll you exact of me, my lord! However will I bear it?"

"Hmm... I suggest practice."


End file.
